Fearlessness

There have been so many times when Ruby has taught me what it is to be brave. Sometime I think to myself, “she’s just fearless.” And yes to some extent she is, but more so she does the scary thing despite the fear. I am so fascinated by this because I truly think I was like this at one point. Maybe we all were. Did I learn that? Did Ruby learn it? Or do we come out into the world not really caring about the fear? Honestly I have no idea. And my guess is it’s probably genetics and environment mixed in with personality….

But at some point, things seem to get harder (in our heads) and we don’t take as many risks. When do things change? When do our minds take over and essentially inhibit the part of us that does the scary thing. That’s my million dollar question and honestly one I will probably struggle with throughout the course of Ruby’s life.

That said, I totally believe some of it is learned behavior….at least from my experience. This past Sunday, Ruby had her first gymnastics class. She has been talking about this for months and was SOOO excited. It was a family event and of course we were running a little late - I had to fill out forms and they quickly took her away without a chance for me to give her a hug/wish her luck/calm her “fears”. So I felt myself get nervous for her. I mean, this gymnastics gym was huge and honestly felt a bit chaotic with multiple classes going on at the same time. And she didn’t know anyone, and she had never done this before, and…..EEEK - I mean I would be scared!

So I nervously watched her from the window upstairs and well she owned it. Nope she didn’t know anybody and most of the time she didn’t know what she was supposed to be doing but man that didn’t stop her. She was jumping up and down, moving from station to station, looking at other girls if she didn’t know what to do and just WENT FOR IT. I. was. so. proud. And after class Edward said something like, “I know that must have been scary for you but you just did it and you were soooo good.” She stopped him right there and said, “You’re wrong - I wasn’t scared at all. It was so fun!” Um - well ok then. Nope not scared Mom and Dad. Not at all!

And so I just kinda thought to myself. Are we projecting our own fears? We must be right? Just because we would be scared doesn’t mean she is. And I know every kid is different but this kinda opened my eyes a bit. By us asking if she is scared, does that in a way message to her that these “types” of situations are scary? I don’t know - and it’s not black and white but I’m definitely thinking about things differently. I mean I’m still going to be comforting and a little “extra” when she tries something new but maybe I’ll let her tell me when she’s scared instead of just “expecting” her to be. In the mean time I’ll just be her biggest cheerleader during her nightly gymnastics routines. :)