Love, Luck, and Sparkle
It’s been 6 days since we implanted our embryo. I’ve been pretty good considering. This weekend I was on bed rest which honestly was lovely. Edward and Ruby were both amazing. They took care of me and I got to online shop, focus on myself, and binge watch TV. The last few days I’ve somehow been keeping myself busy doing all the things I love doing - spending time with Ruby and Edward, lunches with friends, doing my Holiday cards, Christmas shopping, and listening to my special playlist I made to help me keep thinking positive. The only thing I’m really missing is being able to work out (doctor’s orders) since that is my happy place….but I’ve replaced it with a lot of meditating. I will admit I don’t fully know what I’m doing with Meditating and sometimes I suck at it but I’m still doing it and it makes me feel like I’m in control of something….well my thoughts I guess. I’ve just really been trying to focus on gratitude because I feel very lucky already and trying to visualize the future.
All that said, it’s impossible to stay positive and not be anxious 100% of the time….especially now. So I’m just being patient with myself and instead of freaking out if I have a negative thought I accept it and move on with a positive one. We have our blood test in 5 more days and then we’ll know for sure. Until then I’m trying to stay off the internet, not overanalyzing every single symptom because quite frankly everything could mean I’m pregnant, or not, or just all the hormones I’m taking. Which is a total mindf*ck if you let it be. But I’m feeling good. And positive. And thankful. And I really do believe that most of this comes down to my state of mind….which is really the only thing I can control and I’m happy to say is in a good place. :)