What I know for Sure
I have a lot of personal stuff going on right now. Not bad stuff just regular life stuff. But a lot is up in the air and I have been struggling with making decisions. Surprisingly I'm not feeling too overwhelmed....at least not at this very moment. That said, I am getting a little tired of being in this state of limbo. I know everything will work out in the end but I wish I knew what path to take so that I can just move forward with a plan. I'm an OK decision maker. I'm not the best but I'm getting better. I have this crazy need to evaluate ALL options before I make my final decision. Sometimes it's smart, sometimes it's annoying. But I can't help it. I've tried to be a little more breezier but I just can't. This time though, there are so many factors that all depend on each other so it's not even possible (nor is it smart) to make a quick decision. So basically instead of having to make 1 decision like where am I going to work, I have to make 17 decisions. EEEEK!
It's actually not all bad. Parts of me are excited....but again would love to see that clear defined path in front of me. :) I've already done a few pros/cons lists and they helped but I'm still not 100% there and I feel like I'm getting to the point of overthinking which just isn't good. So I decided to give myself a break and instead of forcing a decision by X date I'm trying to get there more organically. I really don't know what that means except I'm really really trying to enjoy the process of getting there and not putting so much pressure on myself. If I really think about it, the hardest part for me is the fear of the unknown and all these unanswered questions of "what if I can't/won't/don't X"?. Most of these are totally valid questions but the reality is I have no idea what is going to happen later. And I don't know how I'm going to feel later. All I know is the present. A million and one things can and will change before I even get to the future state I'm worrying about now. So I decided to approach my decisions in a new way. Today I wrote a "What I know for Sure" list. I have Oprah to thank for this idea as I'm reading her book, "What I know for Sure". But basically I listed out everything I know for sure now. Like what's important to me now. I didn't think about it, I just wrote. Some were silly but as I read through the list, I realized that all were really important to me and honestly probably wouldn't change.
I am actually surprised at how useful this exercise was. And so simple! It was pretty clear in black and white what was Important to me. Things that I need and want in my life. I'm not going to say I've magically made all the decisions that I'm struggling with but I definitely have a different way of thinking about them - if something doesn't fit within my list then it's a pretty good indication that it isn't going to work. I'm feeling much better about this and seeing things with a little bit more clarity. Baby steps. :)